The Care Layer
In emergent technology, we look at layers and protocols to understand just about everything. We use these substrates to put technological frameworks in place to understand the world we’re being forced to navigate right now. We also use this language to talk conceptually about the squishy things that technologists tend to bypass– emotions, empathy, ego, kindness caring and the feminine.
Taylor and I, along with a node of amazing humans in Africa, use the phrase “The Human Layer” to bring focus on the humans functioning inside of our technological communities. Humans are building technology to support other humans, and when a system bypasses the human impacts of their creations, or ignores those impacts as a necessary “externality” for the cost of doing business, devastation usually follows.
We’re witnessing this very thing in real time, at scale. Broligarchs and the executives who worship their doctrine are using “AI” as an excuse to simply remove the “human layer” of their organizational charts and offload everything possible onto a machine. That’s it. And they clearly name it. That’s the game they are playing and the externalities of those executive decisions have ripple effects that are destroying the economic structures that brought us to today.
And well, one can argue that the economic belief systems that drive our modern version of consumption capitalism and extraction at all costs need to implode anyway so we can rebuild a regenerative society in the ashes. And by “one”, I mean me, and a whole ecosystem of regenerative builders. I’ve been making that argument for almost 20 years and it brings me no joy to see that I (and many others) am right.
But there are two paths that I can see towards transformation for an economic structure like our own. The first pathway is the one we’re currently on. Full redistribution of wealth to the technocratic class of elite and heartless broligarchs (literally what we’re all living through in real time) OR a transition to regenerative economic systems as a collective moving towards resilient and equitable social systems that leave no one behind.
We are on the first, “let them eat cake” path because those who accumulated power by manipulating things like algorithms, digital currencies and artificial intelligence completely lack the care layer. Their doctrine, which they publish publicly and espouse as canon, states that empathy is a sin and a sign of weakness. So there is literally NO CARE baked into the protocols and layers that run their organizations– which have a direct impact on all of our lives.
The second path uses care as a foundational layer of the entire system of regeneration for a group, community or society. A group of humans with similar mission-driven beliefs come together and declare that change needs to happen and care must be woven into the fabrics of their communal containers so that everything they build together stands on a foundation of Love as a Verb.
We’re going to unpack this alot in the coming months (dare I say years) because this conversation is necessary if we’re going to build a regenerative tomorrow out of the ashes of today.
Lately I’ve been stuck in a horrifying health loop where I’ve seen the fragility of the care layers (or lack there of) that exist in my own personal life. But I know that each one of us is navigating some version of a dark night of the soul right now. And if you’ve been spared the chaos of collapse these last couple years (kudos, celebrate that shit hard) please pay attention here too. Because we are all human and the shit gets dark. It just does. And I would wager a vast majority of your friends, family and community are experiencing a form of darkness right now.
What does a care layer even look like? How can we find recognition in the protocols or relationships we’ve built and make sure our care systems are resilient? As I see it, there are several layers of care to unpack at the beginning of this conversation. We're just scratching the surface here.
As humans, we cultivate multiple types of care layers with their own structural and unspoken architectures; domestic, communal, health, creative, structural, social safety, and so many more. Our very survival depends on connection with other humans through containers that, in theory, should include a layer of care at the foundational level.
For the sovereign among us (like myself) who opted out of building traditional care systems through societal structures like domestic partnerships or institutional infrastructure, what have we built as alternatives? Or have we built anything at all?
I don’t have a domestic care layer, but I grew up in a strong and loving one, so that’s my point of reference. I also have dear friends with domestic care layers and it always fascinates me to see how they’ve crafted these containers of care over time with other humans. Does the domestic partnership move fluidly between care and logistics+support, expanding beyond societal gendered roles with each adult coming from a fully grounded place of self-awareness so that each partner intuitively knows how to hold the field for the other? Rare, but beautiful to witness.
In classical Tantra, partnerships lie at the heart of its most powerful transmissions. 1000+ years ago, tantra yogis recognized that "householders" (laymen, everyday practitioners of tantra, not priests or renunciates) needed partnership in their households in order to hold the powerful energetic field of co-creation. So the care layer was placed at the heart of the relationship. Each practitioner in a committed partnership was trained so that both could hold the field necessary for tantric creation to occur.
In the Kaula tradition, the keeper and transmitter of the lineage itself was not a priest or renunciate, it was householders who ensured the field they created together was powerful enough for tantric transmission. Such care behavior was inherent and transmitted through the technology of tantra. Care was inherent so co-creation could flourish.
Over hundreds of years, the household dynamics have changed and in the modern era, gendered roles dictate most domestic structures and the emotional labor of regulation and space holding falls upon the woman. It just does. Modern society has done a massive injustice to the masculine by forcing them into roles of perceptual protector/provider and their ability to access and process emotions in a healthy manner was removed by, well, the patriarchy. (The Barbie movie really nailed this)
We teach women to nurture and men to provide and never the twain shall meet.
Because society has trained generations of men to behave in a way that pushes the care layer onto women, that means the feminine is holding almost everything together in our communal containers. It’s unfair, exhausting and unnecessary. When men actually do the work of self awareness and undergo the transformation of embracing the feminine and masculine in a non-gendered way, the care layer has a chance to emerge.
Both the masculine and feminine can hold the energetic field necessary for healthy creation to occur– in art, in work, at home and in community. I know it exists because I’ve witnessed and experienced it first hand, and often enough to know its worth protecting. That is my lived, embodied truth. And younger generations raised with empathy are also intuitively building care layers into their communities that are not gendered and can hold an energetic field of creation once its maturity sets roots.
But what does the care layer actually look like?
Well, its somewhat illusive and often goes unnoticed, until it disappears or collapses. In a community container, the care layer is a set of protocols that the community builds together and enforces through their own structures of governance, equality and restorative justice. This layer is usually public facing in a manifesto or community guidelines and supported by a select group within the community.
Sometimes the protocols are unspoken. In regenerative communal containers, if the leadership or heart of the community is versed in empathy and awareness, unspoken care can run underneath the crafted protocols and acts as a protective layer that only rises in the shadows and whisper networks, when a threat appears before the collective. This is community as immunity at scale– its unspoken and beautiful if you happen to catch a glimpse. Most people will never know this layer is running but they’ll feel a sense of safety in the community itself because it exists.
Most people will sense, but never have language for, a community who lost or shredded its care layer in pursuit of growth, extraction and corporate logos.
As a sovereign being, my care layer exists in concentric circles with many people who I connect with on different levels. On the outer edges of my care layer are the community containers I hop in and out of– my local coffeeshop, my local hacker/maker/regen spaces, PT/care providers, any other communities I participate in where people know my name. Some of these containers are transactional and live on the periphery. Other's play a more vital role as a connective membrane but might not be persistent on a daily or weekly basis.
My friends and neighbors who I ping for coffee or reach out for text waves is the next layer in my circle. Some may not go super deep like an inner circle (although some do), but we have connection, shared energetic fields and our nervous systems connect. My inner circle is a handful of deep friendships that have survived a period of time and we go deep. We sit over coffee for hours– often– and talk about all the things. Nothing is off the table and there’s no judgement in these containers.
And then there’s my ride or die bitches and immediate blood family. This layer is essential and where I co-regulate in the presence of another soul, usually by design. In those circles, which are tiny, I expect a level of mutual care. And it should be inherent and unspoken. Texts/calls when shit is hitting the fan, unprompted checkins and showing up to hold space when the dark night of the soul is present, showing up to celebrate when milestones are achieved or just because we’re fabulous and we know it.
One massive aspect of the care layer is being secure enough in the container you’ve created with another person (or people) to clearly state your needs and boundaries. This one is so hard, especially for women who are used to showing up as the holder of the care layer and pleasing everyone else first. I struggle with this one, hard. I just inherently expect those in my inner circles to have an intuitive sense of our collective field and to be able to see and openly acknowledge the care layer and also recognize when the layer has holes or when intervention or support are needed.
I believe that we are all desperately in need of focusing on our care layers– where are they strong, what needs to be tweaked, what needs to be built and where do we need to show up different? Keep in mind that in the age of social media, our care layers look different.
Virtual care networks we think are strong because the algorithm is feeding us manufactured connection through the lens of the broligarch might actually be a mirage. And on the flip side, what we think is weak, a connection we only tap into periodically, might contain the strength we are missing. Are we able to see and acknowledge the emotional labor necessary in the care layers of our lives or do they run as ambient noise as we run towards goals and outcomes? Have we neglected our care layers to the point that they don’t rise when we need them– or are the humans in our inner circle also drowning and maybe we just need to get together and bitch for a while over tea and tissues?
I don’t have clear answers here, just observations from a tantrika yogi trying to make sense of a world collapsing on the quicksand that society build its “care” layers upon, humans be damned. Capitalism only cosplays care layers when they support a profit, and we're all living that reality in 2026.
What if we all took a hard look at our existing care layers and made the conscious decision to build, strengthen and balance those layers? What kind of world could we rebuild if care for one another was baked into the layers and protocols of the social structures and technological tooling that powers us through collapse and towards tomorrow?
Let’s find out.
