Cosplaying War

War. People in power are now cosplaying war. War zone this. Department of War that. War on citizens. War on the media. War on immigrants. War on DEI. War on You. War on Me. 

What exactly are we supposed to do with all of this violence? Even just the bloodlust over the idea of war is enough to make the sane among us fall into disarray. And well, that’s the point. 

During the Bush/Cheney days, I studied Peace, War and Defense while also studying Photojournalism at one of the best universities for such a thing. I took classes from some of the top political scientists in the world with themes like; the philosophy of war and peace, the anthropology of peace, international conflict and communications of war and peace. I documented several countries in post-collapse, its citizens trapped in perpetual poverty and cycles of violence, reeling from years of war. I documented diaspora from two very distinctly different religions, exiled to regions distant from one another, but their struggles the same. Stateless societies fighting for the dignity of being human after living through the absolute violence of war and the inhumanity of evil actors in power. 

And here I sit, at my desk on a Tuesday morning, scanning headlines on the only remaining algorithm not co-opted by oligarchs, watching two absolute morons cosplaying war mongers to a room full of men and women of the highest ranking military status, pining to send these decorated soldiers and the fighters in their charge into American cities because mayors and governors called the cosplaying dictator a name or because the “Secretary of War” wants to make his tiny penis feel adequate when he clearly has no business holding the position he sits within. 

Most of the men in my family served in the military in one form or another, some by choice, others by draft. Regardless of why, they protected this country from conflicts because it was their job and they did it with honor. I studied the various theories of war over the course of history spanning back to the Magna Carta. I understand, at least at the surface level, that soldiers are not deployed because of the whims of a failed real estate robber baron or because a former TV host wants to feel masculine. There are literally no frameworks or philosophies that allow me to put what I saw this morning (in clips and snippets from journalists because the entirety of it all is too much to absorb in one sitting) in a safe little container of understanding. 

No logic. No philosophy. No historical framework. Nothing except the raw inhumanity, pure evil and abject ignorance can quantify what’s happening in our “halls of power” right now. And I fear that once those halls of power shut down at midnight, it’s all over. My gut tells me this is the end game. Shut it all down, force generals to make a choice and unleash the ignorant fury of small men on a population just trying to survive. 

The weight of this is just too much. It’s beyond what my training in political science, journalism or even my spiritual yoga training (which was also academic and intense) equipped me to process. And I am not able to bypass all of this and just ignore it. I’m not wired that way and if one more person tells me to just ignore it, my head’s going to explode. 

What happened this morning has NEVER happened before. No modern “leader” would ever put ALL of their top generals, the president and secretary of defense under one roof, publicly announced and for the purposes of a book promotion and a pep rally for violating their oath and attacking citizens.

What we’re facing has never happened before. We can look to Germany in WWII and see the playbook these cosplaying war mongering idiots are using, yes. But this level of ignorance and incompetence surpasses anything recorded in a history book. 

I look back at the Bush/Cheney years now, when I was an active photojournalist documenting the results of war on communities and I am dumbfounded. I’d actually give just about anything to have those mother fuckers in charge again. At least they operated from a philosophy of war that I could understand and put into a container to process and react from within, even though I disagreed with every fiber of my being. Part of the terror of now is that these people are just dumb as fuck. Like really, truly stupid in a way that is not comprehensible. And so is almost half of the country that voted for this cult shit.

And that is both a source of some solace and a source of abject terror. They’re too fucking stupid to pull off a major offensive against their own country, but they’re also so fucking stupid they may just blow up a Blue State to see what happens. Just like they’re doing to fishing boats off the shores of Venezuela. Or our economy.     

And what’s even more terrifying than such a prospect is that almost half of the country would find a way to justify such an act by claiming that the Blue State was filled with brown people, leftists, trans, women— or whomever they wish to unleash their hate upon. The people whose racism has been weaponized do not care if I live or die. The people who’ve brainwashed these cult followers also don’t care if I live or die. In fact, they’d rather I just disappear. My relatives who voted for this shit—twice— also don’t care if I live or die. A woman with an opinion is a danger to small white men who choose ignorance and hatred as their guiding light and wrap it in a holy book they’ve never read. 

I don’t know where to put all of this or how to even process any of it. I don’t know how to do the work that I’m called to do while holding the Spector of war for no reason in the back of my mind, unable to ignore the reality unfolding before my terrified eyes. 

For those who are able to bypass all of this, cudos. Buy your friends who are aware a beer or a coffee and thank them for paying attention. Some of us take paying attention as our civic duty. I’m no pacifist by any means. In fact, I went to India to study the Tibetan diaspora because I could not wrap my brain around pacifism as a philosophical approach to conflict. But I know how this ends. I’ve documented the results of powerful people playing God with bombs and bullets. 

We have no idea what we’re in for in this country because we’ve had the luxury of being distant from the impacts of war for well over a century. We outsourced violence to other distant lands. And now its coming home to take root in the places where democracy, diversity and inclusion, the very things we said we were bringing to other countries as we dropped those bombs, are allowed to flow freely. In states and cities who welcome all and reflect the best of what this country did offer.

I have no real words of encouragement or hope at this moment. I can only say that now is the time of monsters and we must do whatever we can to hold onto our sanity as they rule. Until they don’t.

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